How to develop strong female friendships at work

How to develop strong female friendships at workHow to develop strong female friendships at workAugust 26 is Womens Equality Day, which means its a good time to look at why even women with strong female friend networks find creating strong connections with female co-workers difficult. Having close female friends in the bro can sometimes be a difficult goal to navigate. However, according to a new study, when a company fosters an office environment that helps brings women togetzu sich, conflict decreases and creativity soars. Here, experts provide their best advice on how to work better with your fellow female colleagues.Why women should befriend other women in the workplaceWhile developing close friendships with fellow co-workers might have been frowned upon several decades ago when women entered the workforce, Industrial-Organizational Psychology Practitioner and Workplace Expert, Amy Cooper Hakim, Ph.D., says girl power doesnt just have a place at cocktails, but at conference table s. Instead of being competitive, a collaborative goal toward climbing the ladder (and smashing that glass ceiling) will help both of you succeed. And more so, knowing you have a fellow woman to talk to, bounce ideas off of and work side-by-side with encourages your confidence while expanding your skill set. And hey, after a difficult review? They help you bounce back into action, too. Friends hilfestellung one another during good times and tougher times. It is especially helpful to have a close friend at work who is of the same sex and who is in a similar sttte or pay grade because that friend can relate very closely to personal and work-related issues. For women, a female work friend can provide a different level of understanding and support than might a male work friend, Dr. Hakim says.In other words, co-workers of your same sex not only help you push harder at work, but also help you recover when work kicks you back. I think strong friendships are essential to career growth, as m uch as life growth. Careers take hard work, tough choices and long-term strategies. Careers take courage. For most women, your female friends are where youll get hands-on empathy, support and the encouragement to take the necessary risks, explains New York-based career coach Carlota Zimmerman.But if you struggle with attracting, maintaining and inspiring those inner office bonds? Here, career experts offer their best advice on how to let go of your competitive, cautious side and become a supportive sister to your fellow female office mates.You underestimate what your female assistant can doSo, you landed a job you lusted after and it comes complete with a nice, airy office, plenty of travel opportunities and an assistant. Especially if your assistant is a woman, make sure to realistically look at her abilities because women are often underestimated. Her personality might not quite match your choice if you were hiring from scratch, but Zimmerman says to resist the urge to hold onto p reconceived notions. Remember she was hired for a reason, and be generous in evaluating her abilities. This is where nurturing your thoughtful and patient nature is key. Women are mucksmuschenstill raised to underestimate ourselves and other women. Weve constantly reminded of how imperfect we are. The world is terrified of competent women. If you can realize that youre underestimating another woman, take a step back, and determine to be a game-changer give her the benefit of the doubt, Zimmerman suggests. Give her the tools and support to do a great job. Give her the empathy youd hope shed give you.When you feel like interrupting a co-worker in a meetingWeve all been there in a day full of meaningless back-to-back urgent discussions that could have been solved in an e-mail, a co-worker is debating another detail and you want to step in to cut her off. Its tempting, especially when you want a solution instead of another derailment, but Dr. Hakim says to follow the 10-second rule. Whi le this applies to any conversation youre having male or female the idea is that you want to extend your colleagues that same courtesy you hope theyd give to you if you felt strongly about a project detail. However, if her constant nitpicking, rambling and combative attitude is causing other co-workers to tune her out, instead of listening to her thoughtful opinions, Zimmerman advises to lend a gal some advice. Instead of correcting her in the moment, which can feel like a blow to her confidence, a private chat comes from a friendly, well-intended place.Let her rant on. Id argue this is especially true if youre in front of other people, say at a board or office meeting, she says. Afterwards, when its just you two, you can take her aside and suggest that perhaps in future, she pre-think her comments, so as to be more focused, and professional. But interrupting and criticizing other people is rarely helpful.Sheryl Sandberg famously used this technique, letting a female colleague kno w in private that she was communicating in a way that made her look unimpressive.When you want to pick a fight with a female co-workerOftentime when the throes of anger wash over you, Zimmerman says its likely less about the person whose head youre prepared to chomp off, and more about external or internal frustrations youre facing. Are you angry with this womanor is she an easy target? Are you angry with that womanor with your boss, your company, your partner, the world? she suggests asking yourself. And then the kicker consider if you want to be the type of person who spirals out of control in the office or who disrespects another woman openly in a conference room. No one wants to be perceived in that way, and your co-worker likely doesnt deserve the negative attention. From a personal standpoint, Zimmermans long tenure in TV news turned her into a type of person she didnt want to be I had no problem making other women cry when they missed their deadlines. I was not troubled by likability. But along the way, I had to realize how much I loathed the person I was becoming, she said. If you find yourself going down the same route, its not that youre upset at your female co-worker who missed a deadline or didnt respond to your email in time, its that you might want to find a new job, company or possibly, career path. When another woman gets promoted over you and youre jealousYou thought you were headed toward that Director title on your team, but when March rolled around, another female at your same level snagged the honor. First and foremost, accept that its normal to be jealous, but punishing another team member for their success is not only immature, but could come across as petty, too, and hurt your chances of ever getting ahead. Dr. Hakim says give yourself some breathing room by going for a walk or even heading out early for the day. After youve had time to mourn the loss of a promotion you thought was yours, thats when you start figuring out your next s teps. Zimmerman says your first move is to congratulate your colleague. When she shares her new position on social media, like it and write a comment like, Congrats, you worked hard, you deserve it People notice and value class acts. Within you a storm of tears and rage may be raging, but outwardly, be the better woman, she says. Your next effective step? Talking to your supervisor about how you can better perform and earn the position you want. Sometimes managers seek and reward those who are clear about their intentions, and if you werent straightforward about your goals at the company and your colleague was, that could be part of why they were given additional responsibility they asked for it. Did management know that you wanted the position? Did you do the work required? Did you have the credentials? Did you have the mentoring to be able to present yourself accordingly? Spend some time studying your background. What can you learn?, Zimmerman offers. When youre frustrated by anot her womans decisionNo matter if your manager is a man or a woman, you might not always agree with the choices they make. No matter how often you see eye-to-eye, disagreements are part of the challenge of being human. Learn to compromise. If you dont agree with a choice that impacted your specific project, client or career? Its important to voice your frustration or uncertainty, but always in a professional manner. Undermining another woman not only could embarrass her, but make you appear dramatic or accusatory, too. Have enough respect for her and her decision to keep your discussion private. How will it help this woman, or any other woman in the office, to make better decisions if they know theyre going to savaged?, Zimmerman says. One day, as you continue to climb the ladder, you will have to make difficult decisions. And trust that revenge is peoples favorite dish to serve. If you have publicly disparaged other womens decisions, dont expect too many people to stand by you, when you have unpopular choices to make.